To the Emotionally Undone Mom

I have been doing this parenting thing for about 3 and a half months now. I am being challenged in ways I never thought possible. I have felt exhaustion like never before. I have felt unworthy. I have felt unprepared. I have felt overwhelmed. Motherhood is no joke. It is days filled with trail and error. What works one day will not work the next. Most days not only is my house a mess but I am a mess. How does such a small baby create so much mess?? I am lucky if I don't have spit up on my clothes or in my hair as a result of Oliver's newly developed reflux. I am lucky if I can manage to take a 5 minute shower before he gets bored or wakes up screaming. Bless his heart he is not an easily entertained baby. Many of my meals are missed. My laundry is piled up. There are days when I want to curl up and cry feeling emotionally undone, but I pick myself up and keep going. But not without the help of God's grace. If there is one thing I have learned in the past 3 months it's that God never walks away. He never fails me when I need him. He gives me the abundance of his grace. My needs are relentless and never ending, but so is his love. (Isaiah 40:28) 

I often feel spiritually guilty that I do not have the time I once did to spend on my quiet time with God. But have realized that he doesn't need my undivided attention but merely the attentiveness to his presence in the midst of my chaotic day. 

No matter how hard or frustrating my day is, at the end when I am rocking my precious boy I am overwhelmed with how blessed we are. How lucky am I to be a Mom? How lucky am I to have such a precious gift sleeping on my chest as I type this? Something I prayed for, wept for and grieved for so many nights. What a tremendous gift Oliver is to my life. I can't imagine my life without him. Without being his mom. I thank God every night for making me a mom and holding my hand every step of the way. 

To all the overwhelmed Moms (& Dads) never hesitate to cry out for help. God is with you and will always be (Samuel 22:7). Life is hard. Parenthood is hard. Celebrate your victories (no matter how small). Give yourself a break & hug your blessings extra tight.